I’m having a hard time sleeping (Likely due to the fact that I went to bed during my normal 4-5PM bedtime to wake up at 1AM for work) and I can’t seem to go back to sleep so I guess I’ll just stay up for now.

First of all I want to immensely thank everyone who helped me out.  I did not at all expect any kind of support and I’ve got enough to keep my head above water and take care of bills and food now, thank you all so much.

I also didn’t mention that, due to not having any money in my account, I couldn’t renew my anti depressant meds and, figuring I was miserable anyway, decided to stop taking them last week.  I realize how stupid it is quitting meds cold turkey but I really didn’t feel like they did anything positive anyway and I’ve been suffering from some pretty bad side effects from withdrawl like brain spasms (Which, until just now looking it up, I didn’t realize was a legitimate thing that is common when breaking off the meds.  I thought it was just signs of me going to have another mini-stroke due to stress, something that happened to me in the past, but that’s another story.  Long story short I started taking them again after a 5 day break because the spasms are just getting to be too much.  If anything all I want to do is ween myself off of them and try something else.  I had to cancel my doctor’s appointment on Monday because of money issues as well and thanks to the donations I’ll be sure and reschedule my appointment.

I don’t know what to do about my job situation.  Without going into specifics I make just barely enough money to live on my own.  This means if an emergency comes up such as my car situation, I’m pretty much screwed and put into a situation such as this.  I know how stupid it is to move into a place by yourself and not have any sort of safety net, but my social anxiety pretty much forces me into living alone.  It also doesn’t help that I was promised not long after I was hired that I’d be getting a raise and I’ve been with my job almost two years now and I’m still making the same amount of money as I was when I was first hired.  This wouldn’t be too big of an issue but the workload that’s been put on me has increased to an insane degree.  For the first few months of my job, I was just IT.  I got a call to fix something, I fixed it, or if something couldn’t be fixed like a cracked screen on a tablet or whatever, I’d send it to the manufacturer.  It was great.  Now, to put it shortly, I’m that same one-man IT crew that’s also in charge of three separate departments as well as maintaining inventory on said departments.  It’s a job that requires me to be to do three tasks at once and it’s gotten bad enough that other managers have stepped in and asked my boss if anything can be done about my position and all I ever hear back are empty promises.  I’ve even spoken with the regional manager directly and, as of about a week ago, still the same empty promise.

I got this job due to connections and because I’m a dropout I have no real credentials to go anywhere else.  I’m more or less stuck between a rock and a hard place and now I’m getting worried because with bills increasing I’m pretty much at the point now where I can’t afford to work where I am, but I can’t go anywhere else.

Friends have suggested voiceover work but even if I’m fairly confident in my own voice I don’t know the first thing about it and my depression, stress, and ADHD have pretty much kept me from doing anything productive lately.  My mind is literally running a mile a minute and with all this shit going on in my life I just can’t sit down and think about things even though I have to.

I don’t know.

But, in any case, I want to thank everyone once again for helping me out in this situation I’m in.  I know I can’t offer much at the moment but I’ll think of something.